Weddings can be quite the beast. All of a sudden, parents who hap-hazardously follow tradition can quickly become the guardians of all things traditionalist. This is certainly how it has been going down in my family. I always knew my mom would want me to stick to many of her traditional Vietnamese ways: tea ceremonies, Vietnamese ao dai, a gigantic guest list, Asian food, etc. But some of the little details she decided to argue with me about came as a complete surprise.
Our biggest fight to date you ask? Shark Fin Soup! Who would’ve thunk it right?
Apparently, Shark Fin Soup is a symbol of wealth. Symbolically, that didn’t really matter to me. My mom found that completely unacceptable. She felt that people expected it and people would look down on our family if we didn’t serve it. To be honest, it doesn’t even taste good. It’s a salty mess in my opinion. But because I don’t agree with the killing of sharks for their fins. I would not let down. We will be serving Abalone Crab soup instead. Equal in price, not as big of an environmental hazard.
Here are some other “traditions” we’re foregoing.
(1) Bouquet Toss.
I personally hate the bouquet toss. This is especially true when you’re a bridesmaid and expected to “want” to catch it. We’re thinking of doing an anniversary dance instead.
(2) Garter Toss.
This is fun for most people, but I’m not sure about having my then husband go up my dress in front of Grammies and aunts/uncles I haven’t seen since I was a kid. We’ll save that for the wedding night.
(3) Best Man & Woman of Honor Speeches
We’re actually going to have these speeches done right after our ceremony before going to the reception because our ceremony will be more intimate with approximately 80 people. Our reception will have a whopping 400-500 people! Vietnamese people (or maybe just any bilingual wedding that large) are notorious for not being quiet during these speeches. We think this will help with making the speeches more memorable and easier to give for our besties.
Our acts of “rebellion” represent us as a couple but also represent some of the practicalities of having a culturally-mixed wedding. These are just some of our changes.
Are you doing things more by the book or being more rebellious?